Potty Training Method | Step-By-Step Tips for Boys & Girls
Start to create a routine in which you just sit her on the potty fully clothed a couple of times a day.
If you know of a particular time of the day when your child is likely to have a bowel movement then use this time to sit her there. Other good times are just after breakfast or just before you undress her to get in the bath.
NOTE: For ease of writing, I will from now on, use the word 'her' when referring to the child in training. Please keep substituting this with 'him' if your child is a boy.
This allows her to get used to the potty and she will begin to see it as part of her routine.
If she doesn't want to do this however, don't force or push the issue, simply put the potty away and get it out again another day. At this stage if she is willing, just let her sit there. Don't even try to explain why she needs to use it, just let her get used to the idea of the potty and integrate it into her routine.
You need to keep doing this for a least a week. Maybe more if your child isn't taking well to the potty. If she is reluctant to still use the potty at the end of the week then this is a good indication that she isn't ready.
Under no circumstances should you force her, as this will ultimately put her off potty training all together. Simply put the potty away and try again in a month or so time.
If she has taken well to sitting on the potty without protesting then this is a sign that you can now move on to the next stage of sitting her on the potty without her diaper on.
3.2 Days One & Two
The next stage is to get her to sit there without a diaper on.
Take her diaper off and just simply let her sit there. At this stage it is a good idea to explain why she should use the potty.
Start by telling her that this is what mummy and daddy do. You may get lucky and she may do something there. If she does use the potty, then give her lots and lots of praise and encouragement. If she doesn't then that's fine just having her sitting there without a diaper on is a good start.
TIP: It may help your child if you explain each of the stages of the process that she has to go through. Let her come to the toilet with you and watch you. Explain where her bowel movements go.
The next time that she does a poo in her diaper, take the diaper to the potty and empty the contents into it. This will help her make the connection between sitting and producing.
Empty the potty into the toilet and let her flush it if she wants to. This will help her see where it goes. When that's done, teach her to dress herself and wash her hands.
Doing this with her for the next couple of days is just reinforcing what she needs to do, just as the last stage did. Now you are not just getting her used to sitting on the potty minus her diaper, but you are also explaining why she is doing this.
She should now understand what she needs to do. If she is still struggling with this then you need to spend a few more days explaining and showing her what she needs to do before you move on.
3.3 Days Three & Four
The last two days have just been about introducing the potty into your child's life and creating a routine. The next stage is to introduce her to underwear.
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Ditch the diaper and put her on some "big girl" pants.
Tell her from now on this is what she is going to be wearing instead of the diaper and exactly what you are expecting her to do and why.
Remind her of the process all over again.
Keep the potty in the bathroom so that she can associate it with the place to go to do 'pee–pee' and 'poo–poo'.
At this stage, this is where things becomes intense. Over the next day or two you need to try to keep things positive and fun, so that you can keep her interest levels up.
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Be positive and so will she.
To help you keep her spirits up and enjoy the process of learning this new skill, you'll need to prepare some activities for her to do.
You will need books, videos, puzzles, arts and crafts or anything else that your child enjoys doing.
These activities need to be low key though, as your child still needs to focus on her body's signs of going to the toilet.
What to do?
You could read books together such as the one's you bought on potty training; or make a card for daddy or someone else important in her life.
You may also want to have some easy to prepare or pre-prepared food and drinks.
You are going to need to give your child to drink plenty of water or cordial juice as well as eating plenty of fiber in order for them to go to the potty often.
What to make?
You could pre-prepare a picnic that you can eat in the house. Make sandwiches with whole grain bread. Pack dried fruits such as dates, apricots, blackberries, raspberries, blueberries. You could also pack whole grain crackers or popcorn. All these foods are high in fiber.
Now that that's ready, you'll need to remind your child of the whole process again, but this time you could use the doll or the teddy bear. It's a lot like role-playing…
Put some of her pants onto the doll. Then play with the doll and say "dolly needs to go 'pee – pee' on the potty".
With your child you quickly take the dolly to where the potty is, sit her on the potty, simulate the dolly doing a 'pee – pee', wipe the dolly, pull up her pants, empty the potty into the toilet, flush, and wash the dolly's hands.
You want to make a big deal that dolly went to potty by saying something like, "Oh, cleaver dolly you did a 'pee – pee' on the potty you are a good girl."
Play again with the dolly and repeat the process a few more times. Then let your child take over taking dolly to the potty.
NOTE: Be aware… if she becomes bored play with something else for a little while, and then go back to the doll when she's interested again.
It's now your child's turn.
Tell her that she is now going to do what her doll did. She needs to be the one that now needs to use the potty. You need to play with your child by reading a book or doing some drawings or watching a video. Enjoy spending some time with her while giving her plenty to drink.
Every 20 minutes you need to take her by the hand and take her to sit on the potty. Say to her something along the lines of…
"I think that you need to do a 'pee- pee'. Let's see if you are a big girl by doing a 'pee-pee' for mummy. Remember dolly was a big girl for doing one. Let's see if you can."
Take her to the potty and sit her there for 5 to 10 minutes. Tell her a story or read her a book while she's there. If she does a pee or poo then give her lots and lots of praise and put a sticker on her wall chart.
Do this every 20 minutes for the next few hours.
Every time you take her to the potty, follow the same steps. If she seems to be doing well with this stage and had hardly any accidents and has used the potty successfully a few times then you can move on the next step and increase the amount of time between taking her to the potty.
If she is having lots of accidents and hardly doing anything on the potty then keep up putting her on the potty for 5 to 10 minutes every 20 minutes. If you need to, carry on with this the next day too.
IMPORTANT: Make sure that you follow the exact same routine that you did with the doll. Do the process exactly EVERY TIME she goes to the potty. Children learn through routine and repetition.
After a few hours of this, the next stage is to increase the amount of time between taking her to the potty.
No longer tell her that she must go, start asking her if she needs to go.
Remind her to use the potty every hour or so. Carry on the same way during the next day reminding her to use the bathroom.
If she has accidents, calmly clean them up, change her clothes and tell her that "It's ok, but she must try to use the potty the next time."
Be prepared for the accidents, she is only just acquiring this new skill.
If you find yourself getting angry with your child because of the accidents, then you need to think back to the last time you had to learn a new skill and how hard it was initially. Remember how bad you would feel if you got shouted at or punished for doing something that you weren't sure of.
Also, you're trying to get her to feel proud and enjoy doing this new skill. So it is advisable to associate the whole process with positive things. Be encouraging and praising when she does things right, and educational, caring and patient when she doesn't.
Getting angry with her when she does things wrong, will make her not enjoy this whole potty training 'thing' and her attention and enthusiasm will start wavering – no one likes doing unpleasant things.
Over the next few days keep up with the praise and encouragement. Keep using the sticker chart and if she's mostly dry over the next few days reward her with a trip somewhere such as the park or with a small toy that you know she would like.
